Why is it that special needs parents always feel so left out?
Is it because we have so much on our plate… compared to the ‘average’ parent?
Or is it because of medical issues our children may have?, making them ‘different’ from the ‘average’ child.
…Or is it purely because we are just so busy trying to survive???… keeping our kids safe, happy, healthy, fed, warm, attending appointments, doing what we need to do for them physically, (sensory diet etc), and medically, and on top of all of that… having to fight the system for EVERYTHING that they need, and are entitled to, for moving forward and helping with their care.
We do often feel like the odd ones out in the normal everyday mundane things though… like the school run… listening to other parents chatting away about dance classes or swimming lessons… We can’t do anything like that with our children, (right now at least!).
I spoke before about many parents never having a break… even just purely because either they have no support, or because they can’t simply phone up friends/family for a babysitter… their child may have an hour long meltdown over the fact that they are not the ones putting them to bed that night, or that their routine is now completely messed up, upsetting them for days!, or even that the babysitter just doesn’t know the child well enough to know exactly what it is that they need when they try to communicate something to them… leading to self injurious behaviours… and also leading to the parents trying to avoid something like that happening, (at all costs!)… so they just don’t go out atall! … resulting in 2 very tired and stressed parents. Which again, is just not good!
Many of us also tend to avoid certain public places to take our kids, or maybe just during busy times… Again, to avoid the stares from others, or to avoid meltdowns, or even just to avoid upsetting our kids, which can then obviously bring with that its own problems aswell.
We can’t just drop everything like lots of other people can. Maybe meet up with friends, go for a coffee, or go to the cinema to watch a movie… We are usually our children’s whole world, and if we leave them… it really does sometimes seem like the end of days to them!
We have been very lucky with Cammy recently, he is fine for now with his Granny taking care of him and his siblings, allowing Mum and Dad to get a night out or 2, but when he was younger we didn’t have much of a break, and he had very bad separation anxiety. If I ever had to leave him with Grandparents, or a babysitter, I literally had to run out the door, and the same when he was at nursery school… (whenever I left him there, he would just scream and scream… obviously making me not even want to take him atall!)… and this was all before we even knew that Cammy was actually autistic.
It can be hard, of course it is! but we all just do what we do for our kids… just like everyone else does! and we would die for our children… just like everyone else would.
So not having a ‘normal’ life, just doesn’t even come into it really.
We do, however, have off days, when we feel like life is just passing us by, and while we struggle daily… time just gradually slips away from us.
I think what I’m trying to say is that everyone else seems to be able to do normal, everyday things, without even a second thought, but we just can’t. Our lives are VERY different from the ‘norm’, and we accept that.
I personally, wouldn’t change a thing! … Our boy has taught me so, so much about life and unconditional love.
What it is to be ‘different’. How each of us is truly ‘unique’, and should always be treated as such.
He has so much love for each and every person that he meets, regardless of who they are or what they look like… something many people could learn from nowadays.
And he also shows me every single day that love needs no words, and that there is so much beauty to see in this world of ours… we just have to know how to look for it.
(I sincerely hope that you all find it too).
xxx
Cammy’s Autism Journey 